Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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