She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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