i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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