You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
