Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
