I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize