Quick, to the slutcave!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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