Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
