Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
