Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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