I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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