it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
