I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My vagina is officially offended.
You are the jesus of drinking
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
