i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
