She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He felt like a one man threesome
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
