My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
