theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
