Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize