nut hugger
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
