Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
