omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
