That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize