im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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