Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
