trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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