He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
