Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
