i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
