Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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