You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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