How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize