I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
