ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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