I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
