did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
