Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
