just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
