last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
