i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
