You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
