please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
