he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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