you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
