i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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