OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
