So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
