I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
