Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
