you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it because I queefed?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
