yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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