somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this will be a night to untag.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
