The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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