you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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