So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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