So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize