brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
