That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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