its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize