Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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