I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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