i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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