Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
