sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
