I can text with my tongue
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
