he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
