Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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