Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Randomize
