We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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